Two Zero Zero: Silence

I've been thinking about how the voices out in the night have fallen silent, one by one.

There was a time not so many years ago when my phone rang late at night and lovely young voices were there to tell me stories and be there until long after midnight. I understand that the current social stereotype is that Millennials would rather take an arrow to the knee than actually talk on the phone, but I miss those voices. I miss the days when you could have long conversations, when the telephone was the tool for flirtations and seduction.

I'm a storyteller. That's what I've always been. I've made my living by telling stories, by constructing narratives. It's how I've made my career, and it's how I've enticed lovers into my life. Without stories, without the ability to tell stories, my life would be empty.

All the those late-night conversations are missed. Books, films, music, lives, hopes--- the conversations would wander from topic to topic 'til dawn. They'd take long detours into flirtation and seduction, and we'd construct long, intricate fantasies. We'd tell one another about lovers in the past, about adventures and encounters, and of course about all the things we wanted to do with future lovers--- places, people, positions, wardrobes and costumes and accessories. We'd create scenarios and imagine what we'd do with one another.  It occurs to me that those days are over. It's not just the lack of voices on the other end of the phone.  It's that fantasies have fallen out of favour. Fantasies are now regarded with suspicion and a kind of disdain.

I can't imagine telling a lovely girl about any of my fantasies these days. To tell her would be a kind of aggression, the gender warriors would say--- something that demands her attention and response, something that imposes on her time.

I can't imagine taking the risk of telling a lovely girl about my fantasies.  It's all too easy nowadays to imagine not just mockery, but political disdain. The current wisdom is that no one can just have fantasies, that all fantasies must be judged in some social-political context. Why take the risk? Why end up stammering out political apologies?

Letting someone know about your fantasies also risks being pigeonholed--- of being regarded as someone who likes only the things in the fantasies. If you enjoy a particular scenario or genre,  then you risk being tagged as being nothing but someone with mere repetition compulsion.

There was a time not so many years ago when exchanging fantasies was a key part of flirtation and seduction. These days, that's far too risky to do. My own take is that these days one's sexual fantasies are judged far more harshly than they've ever been. One's fantasies may be "problematic" on political grounds. They can be mocked as inept, jejune, boring--- or as signs of weakness.

It's easier to remain silent. Say nothing, ask nothing, admit nothing, reveal nothing. Silence is always the default procedure.